you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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