whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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