I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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