I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
