Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Still dying that you shit outside
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize