3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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