At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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