I wish life had little blips of pornography
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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