Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
