Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
