Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
