Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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