Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Holy sore nipples Batman
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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