it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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