They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
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they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
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If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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