She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
