I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
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The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.