well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
They took my balls.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?