its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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