i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize