come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You smell like stripper and shame
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
