Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
