I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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