she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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