haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
