he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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