i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
