You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
pray to the hookup gods
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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