I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
