I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
