K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
