I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
