He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
