my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
