So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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