So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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