I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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