Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
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It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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