it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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