If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
