Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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