dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
