I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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