life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize