btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize