Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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