Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
