i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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