I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize