Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
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He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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