k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
