Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
ok first of all what the fuck
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize