Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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