Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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