I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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