not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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