Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i dont even know how to be here
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
