Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober