If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default