Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.