Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
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Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
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the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.