there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.