i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.