Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.