Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize