chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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