Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have already put on my inside pants.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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