I can tuck mytits in my pants
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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