Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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